i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
