Pappa wants mamma naked
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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