I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She announced her abortion via fbk
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
