Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
