when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
