I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
