Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
