haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
