It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
