Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
