Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Never underestimate the power of titties
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
