God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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