You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
