A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
love makes seman taste better
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
