grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
