The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
