are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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