im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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