My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
