I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
