it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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