I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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