I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
