I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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