Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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