I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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