i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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