This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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