addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
