that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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