If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
