Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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