Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
