I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Randomize
