u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
