I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
