Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
