Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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