As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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