Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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