Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
no you cant smoke seaweed
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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