i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
