I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
