Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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