I want to walk on stilts...naked
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
