so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
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