i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My breasts were aching with rage.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
