While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize