Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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