my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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