I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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