it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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