Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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