you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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