I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
