Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
