But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
