So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
