..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
