I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
