And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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