I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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