How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
this just has baby written all over it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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