just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
