when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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